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You establish kairos at the end when you say that people are committing suicide because due to cyber bullying. You might want to introduce this earlier in your introduction to really get people invested in your topic.
And if your audience is just recent graduates, what can they do about this issue? The claim is that students who cyber bully should be suspended. While this claim is very specific, I think it might be took specific. I think ultimately, it prevents and discourages bullying, so instead you might want to say something along those lines. If so, how does that connect to your body paragraphs? I feel like the evidence should be a kind of preview of your following argument rather than just another reason for your claim.
Maybe you could say something about how cyber bullying is just as real and harmful as other bullying? Like I just said, I think you should use evidence for your claim that ties the bodies paragraphs together.
The one thing I have to say about your organization is that you should put 2. Also, I might put your first close to the refutation… I just get the feeling that those would also nicely transition. These sources seem good. Maybe say how the fact that girls are bullied more online shows that this is a big problem? Roshan, I think that your topic and goal is clear. I also think you might make your introduction more oriented towards school boards or a specific audience like you said you wanted to.
I think this introduction could be more specific. For example, school boards know that they do not have a punishment for cyberbullying, but you can explain your points for why they should have a rule more clearly in a broad way in your introduction. I think you could more clearly explain your logos for your evidence. I think your points 2 through 4 really complement each other. The refutation is good too, but you might want to think about reasons why your argument is more valid than those arguments.
Sounds like it will be an awesome paper! You must be logged in to post a comment. Here is a rough outline of my essay some body paragraphs will most likely be changed as I go:
Disclaimer: This essay has been submitted by a student. This is not an example of the work written by our professional essay writers. You can view samples of our professional work here. Any opinions, findings, conclusions or recommendations expressed in this material are those of the authors and do.
Cyber-bullying has been a problem for a very long time. Due to the development of our technology today, cyber-bullying has become one of the most difficult issues to resolve in our society. Since cyber-bullying issues are more likely to happen at schools, social networking, and mobile phones.
The introduction presents the problem by using descriptive words to capture the reader’s’ interest, the following sentence should present brief background information on cyber bullying to help readers be aware of the main ideas of the essay as highlighted in the thesis statement. Jan 13, · 2. Bullying Essay Introduction Bullying: Self-esteem and Bullying Vs Cyber Tenesha Smith Jennifer Cabana 9/28/ CRT/ Traditional Bullying VS Cyber Bullying The article I chose to discuss is Cyber bullying has a broader impact than traditional bullying.
Cyber Bullying Essay Example Cyberbullying entails the use of chat rooms, websites, instant messaging, and e-mail for deliberately intimidating and antagonizing others. It is variously referred to as online bullying or electronic bullying. Apr 24, · Bullying - argumentative essay introduction and conclusion revision. natashahead. Apr 20, #1. have shown that one third of teens are bullied at school and 4 percent also report that they were also victims of cyber bullying (Bullying Statistics, ). Parents really need to take a stand against bullying to help prevent it and to stop it.